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It’s been almost a month since my last blog post, and I’ve been through quite an emotional rollercoaster. Breaking habits is harder than I anticipated, especially when I tend to withdraw from the world during tough times. But lately, I’ve come to accept this about myself. On a positive note, I recently visited Greece for the first time in my life. The experience was incredibly refreshing. Thessaloniki, with its sun-drenched streets, became my temporary refuge. Sometimes, life surprises us with unexpected gifts, and this trip was one of them. As the saying goes, “You don’t always get what you want; you get what you need.” Thank you, Universe, for granting me this trip. I really needed it. Returning from Greece, I felt like a different person. It was as if I’d been reborn. For a while, I hadn’t truly felt like myself. It been a long time since I have rested emotionally and psychologically. The trip granted me this so needed emotional rest. I’ve also noticed that I thrive in sunny countries. Having lived in Turkey before, I appreciate the warmth and brightness. People there seem happier too—perhaps the sun truly does make life better. It’s no wonder I left Ireland; the lack of sunshine didn’t suit me at all. Although, I have so much love for Ireland and its people. Traveling to new places is my medicine. It rejuvenates me, just like connecting with interesting people. Speaking of which, my recent trip was part of an Erasmus+ youth exchange alongside the Latvian team. It had been five years since my last similar event, and this experience allowed me to reflect on my personal growth. We often notice our development when faced with familiar situations that elicit different reactions. While I won’t delve into project specifics now, I can say that the participants from Spain, Slovakia, Croatia, Sweden, and other countries were amazing. These experiences allow us to see our growth—how we react differently in familiar situations over time. Greece was my unexpected remedy. We all carry worries—those persistent thoughts that weigh us down. But in Thessaloniki, I found solace. The sun-drenched streets, the friendly faces—they worked their magic. I rested emotionally and mentally, recharging my inner energy, equipping me to face my worries head-on. Life’s twists and turns may surprise us, but sometimes they lead us exactly where we need to be. My worries didn’t vanish completely, but I returned with newfound strength to face them. Sometimes, unexpected journeys lead us back to ourselves, rekindling our vitality.

Life has a curious way of weaving illusions around us—fragile veils that momentarily shield us from harsh realities. Lately, I’ve been caught in the whirlwind of busyness and fatigue, my mind racing with ideas for new blog posts. But amidst this chaos, there’s one topic that calls me—an exploration of illusions. Living in the Dream World: Illusions are like whispered secrets we share with ourselves. They paint our reality in hues of hope and possibility. Yet, when these illusions shatter, they leave behind shards of truth. It’s akin to waking from a beautiful dream to find ourselves standing on the precipice of reality. The Pain of Breaking Illusions: From personal experience, I know the sting of shattered illusions. It’s a raw ache—the collision of what we believed and what truly exists. But is it better to dwell in illusions, cocooned in their comforting embrace? I’d argue otherwise. I’d choose to face the unvarnished truth, even if it stings. When Reality Strikes: Illusions distort our perception. They blur the edges of reality, allowing us to dance on the edge of our dreams. Yet, inevitably, reality knocks on our door. It’s a relentless visitor, demanding to be acknowledged. And when it arrives, it doesn’t knock politely; it crashes through, leaving us breathless. The Therapist’s Office: A Sanctuary of Truth: Imagine if illusions shattered within the safe confines of a therapist’s office. There, we’d have a soft landing—a compassionate hand to hold as we grapple with reality. But life isn’t always so considerate. Sometimes, illusions crumble in the most inconvenient moments, leaving us exposed and vulnerable. The Bittersweet Grief of Lost Illusions: Recently, my therapist helped me confront an illusion. Was it reality or mere imagination? As the illusion shattered, I grieved. It’s a natural process—the mourning of something lost. My perfect illusion slipped through my fingers, but in its absence, I found something more precious: freedom. Illusions may cradle us, but they also bind us. As mine shattered, I stepped into the light of truth. It hurt, yes, but it set me free. So, here I am—bruised but unburdened—ready to write about illusions, their fragility, and the liberation that follows their demise🌟

In the quiet corners of my heart, I’ve made a pact with honesty. So, today, I’ll sharesomething that usually remains veiled—something I’d confide only in the hushed conversations with my inner circle. February, that fleeting month, arrived with its own storms. The kind that twists, leaving us breathless and disoriented. It’s okay, I remind myself, to feel overwhelmed during these hardships. Yet, February, with its icy fingers, was especially unyielding. I won’t delve into the specifics—the why and how of it all. Not now. But I promise to reveal what unfolded a little later. A pivotal choice stood before me. I was at crossroads. I recall a session with my therapist—a moment of vulnerability. “I said I knew I would feel okay again. However, at that exact moment I didn’t believe it”. At that moment I felt like I would stay in these emotions forever. Our psyche, that intricate web of neurons and whispers, plays its tricks. I know that, since I study psychology—the paradoxes of our minds. Intense emotions, whether sorrow’s weight or joy’s effervescence, cannot linger indefinitely. Our psyche craves equilibrium, a return to its center. Even the sunniest days yield to twilight; the stormiest nights relent to dawn. It’s our nature, our cosmic design. In these moments—when the storm rages, when the heart trembles—it’s crucial to be our own allies. To take care of our wounded selves, to talk to oneself with kindness. To become our own best friends, offering solace. And above all, to remember: “This too shall pass. And here’s a secret: Emotions are just elusive messengers. It’s a mistake to label them good or bad. They’re neutral by their nature, like the wind that tousles our hair or the rain that kisses our skin. Perhaps, in my next post, I’ll unclose this further—the silent wisdom of emotions. For now, let’s breathe. Let’s honor our storms. Let’s be kind to ourselves, for we are fragile and resilient at the same time. And let’s remember that vulnerability is a gift.

Not long ago, I found myself engrossed in Hermann Vaske’s intriguing documentary, “Why Are We Creative?” The film is a fascinating exploration of creativity, with Vaske posing a singular, yet profound question to a myriad of renowned individuals from diverse creative fields: “Why are you creative?” This question was directed at musicians, architects, poets, writers, entrepreneurs, and more. One response that particularly resonated with me was that of George Martin, the details of which I shall leave undisclosed, perhaps piquing your curiosity to watch the film. The Spark of Inspiration Martin’s words echoed a sentiment I had encountered during a previous research endeavor. I had been delving into the minds of musicians, trying to understand why some were composers, birthing their own melodies, while others were performers, breathing life into pre-existing compositions. What separated the composers from the mere piano players? Why did inspiration strike some and not others? The answer, I discovered, lay in their response to inspiration. Composers, when struck by a melody or an idea, would immediately set it to paper, or play it out, or pen down lyrics. They would initiate the creative process without hesitation, without judgment of the idea’s worth. Even amidst a party or a pressing engagement, they would take a moment to record a snippet of a melody or a line of lyrics, to be revisited later. The Paralysis of Doubt Throughout my life, I’ve been visited by numerous creative ideas, most of which remained unrealized, save for this blog. The reason? I spent too much time contemplating, discussing, doubting, and questioning my abilities. By the time I was done thinking, I was drained of the energy to create. How often have you considered starting something, only to abandon the idea without even attempting it? Later, you might have seen others bring similar ideas to fruition. These individuals aren’t necessarily smarter, wealthier, or more attractive than you. The only difference is that they act on their ideas, inspirations, and dreams. The Call to Action Vaske’s documentary stirred something within me. It inspired me to act, to bring my ideas to life. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t doubt myself. I didn’t seek validation from others. For the first time, I was bringing a creative idea to life. Is there a guarantee of success? No. Life offers no guarantees. But therein lies the beauty of the journey. The uncertainty of where it might lead next.

During a recent session with my psychologist, we delved into an intriguing topic—one that resonated with me. (And yes, every psychologist should have their own psychologist!) We explored our wounded narcissistic aspects. Now, before you picture grandiose egos, let me clarify: I’m not referring to narcissistic personality disorder, but rather the presence of a narcissistic part within each of us. This aspect tends to reveal itself when we make choices based on how they’ll be perceived by society, rather than what truly brings us joy. For instance, imagine opting for a high-powered corporate career when your heart yearns for the quiet simplicity of country life. Or perhaps you choose a partner who enhances your social image, even if spending time with them doesn’t ignite your soul. Healing this narcissistic part involves a simple yet profound shift: asking the right questions. Instead of fixating on external judgments—“How do I look? What do they think of me?”—turn the spotlight inward. Ask yourself: How do I feel? When you contemplate that shiny new car, consider not just its aesthetics but how it resonates with your spirit. How do I feel about this job? Beyond societal expectations, gauge whether it aligns with your inner fulfillment. How do I feel beside this partner? Look beyond appearances; focus on emotional compatibility. How do I feel spending time with that friend? Prioritize connections that nourish your soul. These seemingly straightforward questions can guide you toward a remarkably different life, one that authentically reflects your desires. Embrace the shift, and may it lead you to a pleasantly different existence—one you genuinely want to live.

I don’t know how to start this post or where to begin. But here it goes. For nearly two years now, I’ve been in therapy. It was entirely my choice. And it is one of the main demands to psychologists. We (psychologists) all need our own personal therapist. And you know what? I love therapy. It’s been a transformative journey—one that has positively impacted my life. The Challenge of Change: Yet, there are moments when I wonder if these changes take too long, if they demand too much effort from my side. You see, transformation doesn’t happen overnight. Our psyche is stubborn, resistant to change. It clings to its familiar patterns, reluctant to let go. So, I’ve learned patience—the kind that only time and persistence can teach. The Temptation of Quick Fixes: Sometimes, though, I yearn for an easier, faster way. Curiosity drives me to explore different avenues. Regression hypnosis sessions and constellations—both promising miracles. But here’s the catch: they work best in tandem with personal therapy. No shortcuts. No magic wands. Just consistent effort. Naïveté and Healing: I remember my first regression session. Naïvely, I hoped it would swiftly fix the parts of me that needed healing. After all, regression takes you straight to the root of the problem. Constellations, too—I thought they’d untangle my emotional knots effortlessly. But reality hit: healing requires more than a single session. It demands commitment. The Role of Therapeutic Support: Don’t get me wrong; regression and constellations are powerful tools. They illuminate hidden corners of our psyche. Yet, their magic amplifies when combined with ongoing therapy. So, I still attend those sessions, but they complement my personal therapy. Together, they weave a safety net, catching me when I stumble. The Weekly Meeting: And every week, there’s that familiar meeting with my therapist. It’s non-negotiable. Without it, the other tools would lose their potency. Deep work on myself—sometimes painful, often illuminating—shapes my progress. So, I show up, ready to explore, to unravel, to heal.

Have you ever felt the pressure from family and society to conform to a certain way of life? To live in a manner deemed “acceptable” by societal standards? I’ve grappled with this pressure for as long as I can remember. At times, I’ve even questioned if something was wrong with me for not treading the beaten path. Disclaimer: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me 😊. I’m simply me and desire a life that’s different from the norm. Over the past six years, I’ve made my home in various countries, living abroad and embracing change. In that time, I’ve resided in four different nations—a concept my society often frowns upon. Yet, am I harming anyone by being nomadic? Hardly. So why should I cease pursuing my passions just to appease others? My answer is a resolute no. Believe me, I’ve exerted immense effort to fit in, to contort myself into a mold that’s not meant for me. It’s a painful endeavor, one that I’ve decided to abandon. I refuse to twist myself into a form that society deems acceptable. I’m at peace with the way I live my life. Perhaps I’ll settle in Latvia for a decade, or maybe I’ll depart in a month—who knows? That’s the allure of existence. The future is an enigma, and frankly, no one can exert full control over their life. It’s a mere illusion. Countless circumstances lie beyond our grasp, so the idea of meticulously planning the next ten years seems futile to me. I certainly didn’t foresee a war erupting in my homeland, yet here we are. For me, this constant movement symbolizes freedom, my most cherished value. It’s partly why I chose psychology as my field—you can practice it from any corner of the globe, unbound by location. That, to me, is the epitome of freedom. There’s no definitive right or wrong way to live your life 😊. Currently, I’m living the dream of a young 10-year-old Tania, who yearned to explore the world. You live your life, and I’ll continue to live mine—filled with travel and an enigmatic future. Life is too fleeting to harbor regrets over unseized opportunities.

Today, I attended a master class on the art of pysanka, an ancient Ukrainian tradition of decorating Easter eggs. The pysanka egg is considered a protective charm. Traditionally, girls would gift pysankas to boys they fancied. I fondly recall drawing pysankas with my family before Easter. At the time, we were unaware that a pysanka should be crafted from a raw egg and that it served as a talisman for protection. So, how is a pysanka created? You begin by placing bee wax into a pysachok. Next, you melt the wax over a candle flame and use it to draw. Once your design is complete, you dye the egg. Finally, the wax is removed to reveal the vibrant patterns. During Easter, we also prepare krashanky, which are simply boiled eggs tinted in various hues. There’s a charming tradition of immersing a red krashanka in water and using this water to wash your face on Easter morning. As a child, I practiced this ritual, embracing the belief that it would bestow beauty. By the way, to minimize chemical use, my mother would color eggs with onion peels. Indeed, there are several natural substances that can impart color to eggs.

Nowadays blogs grow fast on Instagram, TikTok etc. I’m pretty sure it is much easier to grow fast a blog on social media platform. However, that’s not my intention. My intention is to be rpresent in my raw realness, authenticity, and simply to be me… I want to be present out there, in a sea of the Internet, without any masks or filters. I want to share my thoughts, emotions and feelings although they might not always be happy. I want to be present on a blog even when I’m blue. That’s something that seems yet impossible for me to do, well at least yet. Social media looks so artificial to me. Everyone tries to look better, more successful, richer, prettier, happier... And believe me I’m no different when I’m on Instagram. Normally when I’m not feeling it, I would disappear from social media. I would “break off the contact” with the world. In gestalt therapy contact is the basic concept. It’s how you interact with the world. So, I distance myself, I break off the contact when I’m in my heavy feelings. And my goal is to learn to be present in a relationships even during hard times. The goal is to share those not pleasant emotions and feeling with another person. It’s the only way to develop sincere close relationships. That’s we all need, don’t we? Now I guess it's time to introduce myself. I'm psychologist, gestalt consultant. I've finished 1st degree of gestalt therapy. And I want to continue my studies at 2nd degree of gestalt therapy. I will at some point. It's just I've just moved in to a new country. First, I want to settle down a bit. Then I'll think about my studies. I also really like yoga. I've been practicing for the past 4 years I think. I'm no yoga teacher or instructor. I just love how yoga helps me to always come back to myself. By the way, I think that Boho Beautiful are creating the best yoga lessons :) I enjoy using their app. And it's not advertisement. I'm 32 years young woman. I love travelinng. Moreover, "changing wallpapers"s needed for my mental health from time to time. I used to live in 4 different countries except my home country. And recently I've moved back to one of those 4 countries. Let's see how it goes living in here. Wish me luck. And I will keep you updated about my insights.