During a recent session with my psychologist, we delved into an intriguing topic—one that resonated with me. (And yes, every psychologist should have their own psychologist!) We explored our wounded narcissistic aspects. Now, before you picture grandiose egos, let me clarify: I’m not referring to narcissistic personality disorder, but rather the presence of a narcissistic part within each of us.
This aspect tends to reveal itself when we make choices based on how they’ll be perceived by society, rather than what truly brings us joy. For instance, imagine opting for a high-powered corporate career when your heart yearns for the quiet simplicity of country life. Or perhaps you choose a partner who enhances your social image, even if spending time with them doesn’t ignite your soul.
Healing this narcissistic part involves a simple yet profound shift: asking the right questions. Instead of fixating on external judgments—“How do I look? What do they think of me?”—turn the spotlight inward. Ask yourself:
How do I feel? When you contemplate that shiny new car, consider not just its aesthetics but how it resonates with your spirit.
How do I feel about this job? Beyond societal expectations, gauge whether it aligns with your inner fulfillment.
How do I feel beside this partner? Look beyond appearances; focus on emotional compatibility.
How do I feel spending time with that friend? Prioritize connections that nourish your soul.
These seemingly straightforward questions can guide you toward a remarkably different life, one that authentically reflects your desires. Embrace the shift, and may it lead you to a pleasantly different existence—one you genuinely want to live.
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